i have nothing to say, nothing at all. it's alright because nobody reads this website. not even you. especially not you. i likes to waste me time. cold it is in this room, and dark. and silent but for the fridge, it says "clunkwhirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrclunk" and "bdurdle" and "fffffffffffffffffffffff" and the computer, it says "fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii" and the printer says "pfffffffffffffffffffffff" and the rain is saying "plutplutplutplutplut" and the heater is saying "fwooooooooooooom." i don't really know what silent sounds like. but i think it wouldn't drill away at my brain like this. i can't think anymore. and i don't want to. i think i'd like to sleep, but i have more waiting to do tonight. and waiting is really all i ever do anymore. waiting for what. probably nothing. probably wasting my time, but what else is new. but. but. but. i would like to waste it while asleep so that i could be somewhere other than here. do you know, i've been telling the worst of all possible lies lately, and it makes me feel ill. when you talk to yourself, you should tell the truth, always. anything else is ridiculous. because usually you can tell when you are lying. you'd think. yes. usually. i think probably i've multiple personalities. or some such nonsense. otherwise i'm not so sure how it is that i can disagree with myself. you'd think i could get along with me. you'd think. you'd think. except that i don't. or well... i do, but i agree with myself on two different things that are mutually exclusive. what a kettle of fish. a fine one. so what will it be, candice. spring summer spring summer spring summer spring summer spring summer spring summer spring summer spring summer. winter. yes. winter. i will have myself cryogenically frozen until such time as the world makes sense. if i could have myself cloned, now, i would be problem free, wouldn't i. bah, and humbug. of course, though, i'm not even really being given a choice here, am i. no. no. maybe the most painful part of it all. and so perhaps i should calm down. sleep. calm. meh. drift along as always. breathe.