Cool Whip: an edible oil product!
Yeah, that's probably what I would use as one of my big selling points if I was in charge of marketing at Kraft.
Why would anybody see this written on the tub and follow through with the purchase?

Oh yeah. I got my Tim Horton's job. Woo... I'm so SO happy about that. I really am. Really. Dammit. Gotta get my uniform on Monday. They don't come in my size. I had better invest in a belt. eee.