Okay... so I've left a message with this (probably imaginary) person, to call me back, which will hopefully be DONE this time.

How many times have they told me that someone will call me back?
Well, I can't count that high.

How many times has somebody actually done it?
zero.

And now I can't go get food, because I know that if I do, my call will this time be returned ASAP.

I am seriously moving to Ganymede.
When I am Empress, banks will be outlawed.